My de(e)ar ones...
Hey hi, it’s been a little longer than I expected since I posted, I’m blaming the expedited passage of time due to February’s sweet ninja-style takeover of January. So nice of it to actually be winter this year, and Feb. so far is no exception. I can’t even get all that angry at Feb for it’s strong-arm time-bending tactics. It’s the birthday month of my peop…of me, so I’ve always stood up for Feb, even when it was being a jerk. It’s a pretty efficient month, it’s good at what it does. Get’s the job done in 28 days, with no help, ‘cause everyone’s bitchin’ about how it’s sooooo cold, and it’s Feb already, and waaaahhh winter and whatnot. Feb just keeps on doing it’s thing, being all February and such. That’s tenacity. Mad respect for February, amiright?
Ok, fine, I’m the ONLY one’s who’s right. Dudes, it gave us a SNOWDAY. ON A FRIDAY. February, I could hug you! Moving on...
My lovely Mom’s birthday is the end of January, so Mr. Rooth and I hit the road last weekend for a belated birthday visit home. Our trip was greatly hindered by February’s sneaky ninja ways, in this case, a blizzard that was unforecasted, unexpected and seemingly unknown to EVERYONE BUT US. Like, this blizzard was entirely isolated to the area directly around our little car?! After white-knuckling it for 6 hours through blowing snow, slippery roads and some scary white-out conditions, we rolled into my parents’ driveway to be greeted by my Dad, out sweeping a dusting of flakes off the pavement, who casually asked “so, did you see any snow?” … Then we drank some scotch, ate beef stew and were dog furniture, so screw you, secret snowstorm. We won.
Our trip was pretty short, considering the effort required to get there, but as usual it didn’t disappoint – it never does. There is just something about getting some time to chill with the parentals that does a great job of peeling the city goo away from my brain. I always come back to life in the city with a better perspective…when I leave I’m typically ranting ‘why the fuck do I even live here!? Why are there so many damn people in such a small space!? WHY IS EVERYONE SO FUCKING STUPID!? GAAAAHHHHH….*twitch twitch twitch* and by the time I return, I’ve got my decent-person perspective back. I’d say it’s the fresh air, sleeping in and endless cups of coffee that does it, but it’s more than that. It seems to be a family thing. Funny thing is that it’s not specifically anything that my parents say or do that levels me out. It’s just the ‘who they are’ thing that does it. Honestly, they drive me nuts sometimes when I am visiting, as I am sure I do to them, but even that crazy-making seems to be part of the positive. My parents, married for …41 years now, bicker like it’s a contact sport. They are fucking pros at it. They argue the ways each other thinks about a certain subject – they don’t argue about how they think/feel about something, that would be an attack; their individual perspectives don’t really matter to the central point, so they argue the ways they got to thinking/feeling that way. Are you fucking kidding me? They argue the minutiae, the logistics. It’s awesome. They’re crazy. But they are crazy together some 41 years now, and it’s a helluva good partnership. I digress. Anyone else notice that, when you talk about those crazy-making people who you love so fiercely that you have a tendency to prattle on? Like you over-emphasize the finer details of this duality SO MUCH? Moving on... So anyway, one of the current hobbies at my parents' place is evidence of the importance of their partnership, and perhaps their craziness. They have become adoptive parents to a herd of deer, lovingly offering them 2 squares a day WITH the added bonus of an all-day buffet of bird seed. Both my parents have a deep affinity for animals, this is well-known and celebrated by their circle of dear friends...and now by their circle of deer friends.
My Dad even went so far to create a feeding trough for them on the lawn, with perfect viewing lines to the kitchen, where we spent the equivalent of hours watching them, coffees and iphones in hand.
When this started a few years back, 2 or 3 of them would materialize out of the woods like phantoms, acrobatically lick the birdfeeders clean in minutes, and then slip back into the trees like a wisp.
As they went, often one would turn it's hypno-beauty-mind-erasing gaze on you, and you'd fall into it's eyes, learn some great, life-changing truth about yourself, meet your godself or whatever, and then be left standing there, welling up and mumbling for 10 minutes after it had burped and quit the lawn. That's what happens to city people when they see deer. There is so much hushed elation, and dramatic inhaling that it is almost ALWAYS a seemingly religious experience, that we instagram the shit out of EVERY.SINGLE.TIME. So I'm city folk now, but I grew up in the country with the known presence of deer around, but we never saw them (live) all that often (stupid hunters...stupid deer that don't know to look both ways...). We were postulating that it must be because of over-population and over-development that the deer are now so often visiting, looking for food. Then there was a deep, slightly guilty silence, as we surveyed the houses visible through the woods. And then my Dad said: "or they know they have us trained..." and we all did that familial-knowing sound...)
So, at considerable expense, my parents feed 3 generations of 5-12 deer a day. No more slipping out of the mists like ghosts; there is now an established pathway of hoof prints cutting down the train tracks and across the edge of the lawn, directly to the tough. They are utter beauty to behold. I don't think I could ever have the words to explain what watching them does for my soul. My Mom wants to hug them all, and my Dad is fascinated by them. They are nonplussed about the barking dogs, or if my Dad is outside working in the yard. We have ascertained that their big, expressive white tales are enormous (not tiny, like they're always drawn) and while they don't like eating veggie scraps, they rather enjoy playing with them. They often get impatient with each other, but every deer always gets a turn to stand watch, and a turn to eat. They stamp at each other or head-butt when they're pissed off (which kills me), and they actually like to be affectionate with one another, sometimes snacking with necks entwined...which sounds weirder than it looks.
That my parents unquestioningly decided to provide for them simpy because they are cute, beautiful and fascinating, is the perfect example of how they are kinda crazy, and so very, very awesome. Caring just because another being exists might be the most beautiful possible strength of this life. Are we generally out of touch with this kind of caring? My city self wants to cynically growl "well of course, you dumb hick" to my former country self, but the older I get, the more I realize that my parents pretty much effortly live this concept. I am so damn inspired by them. Every day, there now appears a hodge-podge family of crazy-making, arguing, caring and affectionate deer. I am not at all surprised that they have chosen my parents to join them.
